I have seen many, many lists about growing up in Miami or living in Miami such as this one & this one. I find that most of them deal with the same stereotypes. Yes, it’s hot here. Yes, we have a lot of cuban food. Yes, driving here is the worst. Oh yeah, and at some point we may have seen a chicken (or 5) crossing the road. But there is more to this place – so much more. So here is my own guide, based on 28 years of experience living (on and off) in Miami. Consider this the 20something’s ride down memory lane to life in Miami. And no, it’s not South Florida. Only people in Broward and Palm Beach will claim they’re from South Florida. Here in Dade – we are always from Miami.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE (20-SOMETHING AND) FROM MIAMI IF…
1. You knew at least one person who sold counterfeit bags out of the trunk of their car. You also knew a lot of people who showed up to school/work with a new $500+ bag every week while earning minimum wage.
2. You spent most weekends in your roller blades (or quads) skating in 2 specific locations: Thunder Wheels & Hot Wheels. Bonus points if you spent your time dancing to booty music in the middle stage located inside the rink, too.
3. You bought many, many back to school outfits at the following locations:
4. You remember seeing this billboard while driving into Miami Beach.
5. You remember that the first time people came out banging pots and pans on the street was when this happened.
6. One of the first times you protested was for Elian. “Elian, Mi Amigo, Miami esta contigo!”
7. You can play 6 degrees of separation with one of the following people:
8. You’ve driven from wherever you are to go to Casola’s to have a slice of pizza at 2:00 AM
9. The voices of Cox on the Radio, Kenny and Footy, and Mindy and Bo were constantly in your ears at some point during your life.
10. You know what come after this: “What’s up, y’all, so what’s it gonna be? Now, who’s on the line with your homey Al B.?” and you practiced for hours to spit your 3 second rhyme on 99 Jamz perfectly so you wouldn’t be called a “doh-doh head”.
11. You saw the lady who did the commercials for Waterbed City & City Furniture more than some of your relatives because she on your TV every 5 seconds.
12. You don’t pledge to public television but will always tune in to a “Que Pasa USA” marathon.
13. You took your 15s pictures at The Biltmore, Vizcaya or the Spanish Monestary. Your mother probably has a 24×36 framed photo still hanging in your house.
14. You remember when Ultra started, when it was on the beach, and only for one day.
15. You’ve met Pitbull in one of the following locations: Dolphin Mall, Santa’s Enchanted Forest or Muvico in Hialeah and he still looked like this. Extra points if you’ve taken a photo like the one below.
There you have it – 15 things that have nothing to do with animals, weather, spanglish, flip flops or crappy drivers. Feel free to comment below and add to this list!
The Pre Esquire Life 