So the last time I posted on here, I had just left my security blanket job. Things were changing & I was excited. However, I didn’t know how much they would change until April 20 came around and shook my world to it’s very core.
The work related injury we had been treating for 4 months turned out to be a massive tumor which was later diagnosed as Stage 4 Spinal Cancer. Writing out these words makes them real and I have spent the last 40+ days denying their existence in my life. The road has been a very, very long one- we actually haven’t left the hospital since April 21. We meet with oncologists, physical therapists, doctors, nurses, techs on a daily basis and for the past few weeks, our lives have been a blur. Phase one is done- Radiation treatment ended as of today. Now we’re off to physical therapy to gain some movement in his legs and hopefully, learn to walk again. After that? Who knows. But I’m hopeful that there is a light at the end of this tunnel and I will keep pushing through the rubble until I find it.
What all this has taught me is to never take things for granted. Life is short- what is here today could be taken away from you in a minute. You need to work hard, play harder & love hardest. There is no do overs. This is so cliche but until it happens to you, you don’t realize the magnitude in those simple words.
Two days ago, I did the unthinkable. I quit my job. I wasn’t plotting it for months; I didn’t hatch some grand scheme. In all honesty, everything happened so quickly that I wasn’t really allowed to process everything until now.
I’ve been at my first “post-college” job since 2008. I loved my job. I loved learning everything about the legal field. I played lawyer within my office for almost 6 years and it was amazing. I knew that I made the right choice when I changed my major from Theatre to Poli-Sci at UCF. I knew that my dreams to be a lawyer were more than a fantasy and that they could actually come true because I was good at this.
But things change. I am a creature of routine and I actually thrive in the predictable. I knew what to expect and therefore, it made the unexpected easier to deal with. However, in a matter of days, I had my whole life turned upside down. My family suddenly needed to depend on me for everything because of a work injury my stepdad had which left him bed ridden. My office was changing too – things were growing, positions were changing. I tried to ask for help (which I am not good at) and didn’t get any. I realized my life (and the wellbeing of my family) was in my hands and I made a final decision to change things. The one thing I feared, losing my routine, was completely gone.
I got a call from a potential employer on a Friday, interviewed over the weekend, was offered the job on Tuesday and was officially thrown out of my office within 10 minutes of breaking the news. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I didn’t get a chance to do much of anything, really. I’m proud of the fact that I had the courage to make such a big change but I feel like I was somehow cheated out of the experience to end things properly.
Now I have all this time (a week, really) to get myself in a mindset for real change because my career is doing a 90 degree spin. With every day that passes, though, I feel like I’m ready and I definitely know that I made the right choice for me and my family. I don’t know what is going to happen for the first time in a long time but I have an open heart and mind for all the new things coming my way and somehow, that seems like it is going to be enough.
Que Pasa USA aired on PBS in 1977. For those of you not familiar with the show, it centers around a Cuban immigrant family, learning how to adjust to life in “el exilio” and is completely in Spanglish. They are the ambassadors of Miami’s native language and really, the how-to guide to life in Miami as a Cuban-American for over 30 years. I always say that this show is my family, on screen. I even wrote my college entrance exam for UCF comparing my family to theirs. As a modern day Carmencita – the baby of the family (on my mother’s side) here are 5 examples of how this show is still relatable after all these years. And yes, this will be in Spaniglish. It’s only fair, after all.
1. There is always one nosey neighbor who will come by your house when ANYTHING is going on. Bonus if she is always trying to upstage you too. There is nothing like a chismosa and un bofe all rolled into one.
2. Menos el cura, this is still what the average cuban american house looks like. Well, the Cuban American family with immigrant parents. Your cuban parents still think some of the clothes you wear is “picuo” even though its totally “coolisima” and living in their house is like jail y la tienen cogida contigo.
3. The old school double standard: boys can fool around, girls must be saints. And you always have that one slutty friend who wanted to bang everything that walks. It may be addressed in a very PG13 fashion but the reality of sex and teen pregnancy is very much seen today as it was back then. Ask any cuban abuelo and you will always be told that “la culpa la tiene este pais”.
4. The struggle of the first generation americans and their cuban parents/grandparents who don’t speak english is very real. Anyone who was around one relative who didn’t speak english has to deal with the constant “Eh?” after every word they say in english OR when they butcher a word in spanish. “Pero chico, hay que ponerse tan feo para hablar en ingles?”
5. Exiled Cubans never expected to be here forever. The reign of tyranny in Cuba was supposed to end sooner rather than later. Months turned into years, years turned into to decades. We’ve established first, second, and third generation Cuban Americans who don’t have the same tie to their roots as the older family members do. But find any old school Cuban – the ones that came here with the promise of going home one day and they will have that one little memento which they are holding on to for the day in which Cuba will finally be free.
I have seen many, many lists about growing up in Miami or living in Miami such as this one & this one. I find that most of them deal with the same stereotypes. Yes, it’s hot here. Yes, we have a lot of cuban food. Yes, driving here is the worst. Oh yeah, and at some point we may have seen a chicken (or 5) crossing the road. But there is more to this place – so much more. So here is my own guide, based on 28 years of experience living (on and off) in Miami. Consider this the 20something’s ride down memory lane to life in Miami. And no, it’s not South Florida. Only people in Broward and Palm Beach will claim they’re from South Florida. Here in Dade – we are always from Miami.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE (20-SOMETHING AND) FROM MIAMI IF…
1. You knew at least one person who sold counterfeit bags out of the trunk of their car. You also knew a lot of people who showed up to school/work with a new $500+ bag every week while earning minimum wage.
2. You spent most weekends in your roller blades (or quads) skating in 2 specific locations: Thunder Wheels & Hot Wheels. Bonus points if you spent your time dancing to booty music in the middle stage located inside the rink, too.
3. You bought many, many back to school outfits at the following locations:
4. You remember seeing this billboard while driving into Miami Beach.
5. You remember that the first time people came out banging pots and pans on the street was when this happened.
6. One of the first times you protested was for Elian. “Elian, Mi Amigo, Miami esta contigo!”
7. You can play 6 degrees of separation with one of the following people:
8. You’ve driven from wherever you are to go to Casola’s to have a slice of pizza at 2:00 AM
9. The voices of Cox on the Radio, Kenny and Footy, and Mindy and Bo were constantly in your ears at some point during your life.
10. You know what come after this: “What’s up, y’all, so what’s it gonna be? Now, who’s on the line with your homey Al B.?” and you practiced for hours to spit your 3 second rhyme on 99 Jamz perfectly so you wouldn’t be called a “doh-doh head”.
11. You saw the lady who did the commercials for Waterbed City & City Furniture more than some of your relatives because she on your TV every 5 seconds.
12. You don’t pledge to public television but will always tune in to a “Que Pasa USA” marathon.
13. You took your 15s pictures at The Biltmore, Vizcaya or the Spanish Monestary. Your mother probably has a 24×36 framed photo still hanging in your house.
14. You remember when Ultra started, when it was on the beach, and only for one day.
15. You’ve met Pitbull in one of the following locations: Dolphin Mall, Santa’s Enchanted Forest or Muvico in Hialeah and he still looked like this. Extra points if you’ve taken a photo like the one below.
There you have it – 15 things that have nothing to do with animals, weather, spanglish, flip flops or crappy drivers. Feel free to comment below and add to this list!
Although 28 is still young in everyone’s eyes, I am older than Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & Tumblr combined. Yes, I did the math – collectively, they’ve been around for 26 years. My internet persona’s birthday is July 3, 2001 and it feels like a lifetime ago. I started on livejournal, as most teenagers my age started. I wrote about my first love, high school, starting college, sorority life, making friends, losing friends, falling in love again and stupid angsty stuff which was popular for my age demographic. Also, I took a lot of “surveys” (shout out to anyone who did those on LJ or myspace). I gained a decent following through livejournal and my love for sharing personal shit with strangers grew.
Before LJ and even after my obsession with it grew, I lived in a world where AOL was the only real way to get on the internet. I survived a time of dial-up internet. I spent hours pimping out my AOL profile, AOL webpage and used a digital camera which required floppy disks instead of a memory card. My free time was spent in chatrooms on MSN and AOL making friends (some of which I still have till this day) and over using “<3333333333” whenever my friends would come into the room. I know a world where online dating was initiated using the first internet acronym – ASL.
That being said, I feel like I am somewhat a veteran to the internet and I’ve seen the growth and demise of social media platforms over the years. I am genuinely surprised I have not grown sick of this, to be honest. With the internet gaining a new trend almost as fast as Starbucks drinks are sold, it’s hard to keep up. But there is something so simplistic about getting in front of your computer and writing that keeps me hooked. That, after 13 years, the feeling of pouring out my heart to an audience of strangers is still comforting. It’s why I continue to create accounts and why I keep trying again and again. It’s my favorite vice and I don’t think I’ll ever fully quit.
There has been a small voice inside of me that has been itching to start a blog again. To create a small space which is all my own. I bought a journal where I began to write but I realized that I have always enjoyed my internet “diaries/journal/blog” better than a paper one. We are entering year 13 in which my life is chronicled somewhere on the internet. I’m sure if you look up various screen names based off of ani difranco or kanye west lyrics, you will find one of my many life stories.
This little blog has been named after my favorite song in the world. A song that in the past year, after learning italian (and by learning, i mean mastering the art of google translate), I have finally understood it’s meaning in it’s native language. Con Te Partiro – I Will Go With You. It was one of the first songs I dedicated to my first boyfriend. It was what solidified my love for Bocelli and Italy. It is a part of my past, my present and hopefully my future, through this blog.
I have no clear specific intentions for this blog. I feel it will encompass a little of everything and therefore, fall into the genre of a personal or lifestyle blog. I get my inspiration from youtube personalities, Courtney Kerr, the ever amazing Christine Castro Hughes (specifically her original website – the very website which inspired me to start writing at 16) and Carly Heitlinger, among others. I will probably elaborate at one point or another what makes me love these women so much but for right now, I will just leave this quick little shout out here.
I’m ready to see where this leads me. If nothing else, I will have another piece of my life chronicled for my future children to google & find. So let’s get this ball rolling, shall we?
sometimes, you just need a little reminder to be great – even when you just don’t feel like it anymore. i can’t believe i came across this article today. it’s perfect.
Welcome to another fun edition of “real life,” a candid column where Jamie discusses her regular life events turned inspiration. Why in the heck is there a picture of a partially-eaten, albino tomato below these words? You’ll have to keep reading to find out!
Exhibit A to today’s post (Don’t ask…we’ll get there).
About a week ago, Gavin and I spent an enjoyable Sunday afternoon together. We visited the local library, so he could peruse the finest chapter books available to a young boy in search of a page-by-page adventure. After departing and running a few errands, we decided to swing by Culver’s to grab a bite to eat on our way home. We trudged up to the counter, bellies growling, where I commenced to ordering a single butter burger basket with cheese, complete with a side of those low-fat, perfectly fried cheese curds (paying homage and personal respect to all of the…
The Pre Esquire Life 